Hey, World Net Daily - It's Over!

The mustachioed man here resembling a washed-up porn star is Joseph Farah, founder of the "news" site World Net Daily.

Joseph and his pals have taken it upon themselves to blast the trumpet that Barack Obama is an illegal alien or something. The story goes, "He was born in Kenya. His Dad is Malcolm X. He's a Muslim. His birth certificate from Hawaii is a forgery. He's the Antichrist." Currently, WND's top 10 stories are all about the unconstituitonally elected Negro man-child from Africa.

World Net Daily's mission statement includes these words of bullshit: "We remain faithful to the traditional and central role of a free press in a free society – as a light exposing wrongdoing, corruption and abuse of power."

"Wrongdoing and corruption," are where Joseph misses the boat. He takes innuendo, conspiracy theory and slander and turns them into facts. His "news" site is nothing more than The National Enquirer for a Christian audience. He regards himself as a "light," when he is truly a servant of darkness. The Devil's in your ear, Joey, and you can't tell the voice of God from his.

Your man, the "hero" John McCain, lost the election, Joseph. And all your efforts to keep Obama from taking the oath of office have failed. And I hope he uses his middle name when he swears the oath, just to piss you off and send you into a fits of praying for deliverance from the Beast.

Get a life, Farah. And while you're at it, shave that hideous mustache.

Guess I Won't Run for The Senate

As Florida Senator Mel Martinez bows out of the Senate with the always handy "spend more time with my family" line, which probably really means, "someone has pictures of me engaged in very weird sex," I thought I'd take a shot at his seat. It's an easy job that basically involves communicating bullshit and making people believe it. And who better to do that than a copywriter? The salary is pretty good ($169K) and the perks are excellent. Plus, I'd get to hang out with people with names like Saxby Chambliss. My pet projects would be national rail service and the criminalization of anything that has to do with the Jonas Brothers.

But alas, Jeb is back on the scene, Florida's former Governor and George Bush's little brother. Even given that heavy handicap of being related to the most hated President in modern history, Jeb is still well-liked. Think about that: these two guys shared a bathroom growing up. Fluent in Spanish, calm and cool in a hurricane and pretty much the anti-Bush, if Jeb runs, he'll win. Plus, he'll have the "Republican attack machine" working for him if the race heats up, and I'm pretty sure I don't want the things I've written on this blog to ever be made public.

Crossposted to Where's My Jetpack?