The Boy Who Cried Balloon

Richard Heene, father of Balloon Boy, is a new type of villain for the Reality Age, duping the world into believing that his son was swirling through the Colorado clouds in a runaway balloon.

So, here's our intrepid Lego reporter from Xtranormal to confront this jackass, a man we'd all be happy to never see again. But something tells me he's here to stay.



Crossposted to Where's My Jetpack?..

And THIS Perfectly Illustrates What I've Been Trying To Say

A painter in Utah, who has apparently studied at the Watchtower School of Design on a Thomas Kinkade scholarship, has painted what he himself describes as a "masterpiece." He also says it is full of "symbolism." Mr. McNaughton is good, certainly better than me, but Michael Jackson commissioned just such a masterpiece to illustrate his own messianic delusions.

Within the scene below we go deep into the mind of a man who has been fed a diet of lies and sludge from a right wing media-machine "unequally yoked" with the teachings of a few fringe church leaders, as well as the doctrines of assorted cults of the Mountain West. (Nobody invoked Moroni directly, so lighten up, Salt Lake City. And don't even get me started, Colorado Springs.)


To wit: Ronald Reagan is a saint. The media is evil. Hollywood is bad. The Constitution is a Holy Document. The Founding Fathers were all God-fearing men. America is the Promised Land. White people rule. And Jesus came that you might pursue Lfe, Liberty and Happiness in a glorious, holy and teabagging Million White-man March on Washington. Don't tread on me. Jesus got my back, bitches.

Oh, yeah. And where's the birth certificate?

And to the painter of this atrocious abomination, I offer these words that he surely recalls:

"How much she hath glorified herself, and lived deliciously, so much torment and sorrow give her: for she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow."

If that passage isn't ringing any bells, Painter Guy - Masterpiece Maker - Revealer of Light and Shadow - Keeper of the Keys, you can certainly dig it up in a voluminous and ancient tome found in the nightstand of any hotel room. Hint: last book, about 4/5 in.

Pride, idiots. Pride.

In The Coming Race Wars

My latest Xtranormal movie. A fun little tool.