Friday, September 17, 2010

What's the Shortest Sentence in the Bible?

"Jesus wept."

Here's the latest addition to a long, long line of marketers posing as clergymen: An Anaheim pastor vows to get tattooed if attendance hits 200. 

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Friday, September 10, 2010

Dressed Up For the Big Show

I've long been of the opinion that modern American church services (in the Evangelical arm of American Christianity anyway) are nothing but a show. “Church,” as defined by present-day American Christianity, amounts to little more than theatre, whereby a performer, in the form of a preacher, delivers a carefully planned monologue, after other performers, in the form of a choir, have “ministered” to the “congregation” in song. Truth be told, the congregations of most churches are really just audiences, the choir is really just talent and the well-paid orator is the show master. And it's all carefully timed so that they can get you out the door in time for the next audience to take their seats for the second service. Don't know how you can get much out of that sort of church service. And don't forget to tithe. Those fancy stage lights and sound systems don't pay for themselves.

Click for the large

Am I being cynical? Guess I should start my own church.

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Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Small Church Learns The Secret of Church Marketing

Some American churches of late have become notorious abusers of marketing. They know how to drum up business through provocation. They strive to be hip, relevant and they boast of their pastor's ability to "relate God's word to your world." They have cool logos, catchy slogans, Twitter accounts, Facebook pages and pastors who dress like Abercrombie models. They hang banners that cause an intended stir or they announce a series about sex that they know will rile their small conservative community. It's all for the sake of hoped-for viral success or a mention on the evening news. They count this attention as something God has blessed. Their numbers grow and they think "surely the Lord is behind this." Any attention is good, they believe, and if they have to get them in the door through shock and awe, that's how they'll do it. It's a tough market out there, and with so many things competing for the attention of the prospective church-goer, a pastor has to do what a pastor has to do. Or rather, an Associate Pastor of Marketing and Community Outreach has to do what an Associate Pastor of Marketing and Community Outreach has to do.

So along comes "Dr." Terry Jones of Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida. His first marketing trick is the title before his name. I am unable to find any information on Jones' supposed doctorate. His second trick is the name of his church. When you have 50 members in your pews and you call yourself a "world outreach center," that's very clever marketing. You might consider it misleading, but I'm sure Jones would make a case that he sends money to Africa and Asia.

But Dr. Terry Jones has one-upped his marketing brethren in a big way. He's not going to preach a series on good sex. He's not going to debate an atheist in a warm-hearted gesture of goodwill toward atheists. He's simply going to burn some Korans this Saturday and get the attention of the whole world. With that simple announcement and a few other provocative signs around the neighborhood, Jones has succeeded in drawing the attention of Muslims from around the world, the world's media, and he has even drawn responses from the commander of US Forces in Afghanistan as well as the White House.

Look at that sign. Crude layout. Kerning is all off. I can safely guess from the appearance of this sign that  Dove World Outreach Center doesn't have a Pastor of Electronic Arts and Media overseeing the creation of its outdoor advertising. But they have the basics down, learned very well from the best practitioners of modern American church marketing. You must provoke, shock, announce a press conference, create a controversy, get people mad, get people talking. And points to them for doing it on a very small budget.

As the nation's church leaders step up to denounce this man and his message, they should probably also repent that they taught him too well. 

Crossposted to Where's My Jetpack?

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